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About Digital Art / Professional Premium Member AliceFemale/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
5 Month Premium Membership
Statistics 400 Deviations 7,396 Comments 83,729 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Show me your favorite band/singer and tell me why I should listen to them! =) (I'm trying to add new stuff to my playlist) 

58%
11 deviants said Yes! I'll post a link to their music!
42%
8 deviants said Potato
0%
No deviants said No. I hate all music and I'm a grumpy cat.

My To-Do List

This is a project lists of sorts, to keep you guys updated on the personal work I'm doing!

Status: Commissions - Open by SweetDuke

:star:Commission Info: aaraujo.deviantart.com/journal…
:bulletyellow::star:Commission List:star::bulletyellow:

:bulletyellow::star:Personal Stuff:star::bulletyellow:

Balancing Heights:
:bulletyellow: Script :star:
:bulletyellow: Storyboard :star:
:bulletyellow: Page 1 :star: [due 17th jan]
:bulletyellow: Page 2 :star: [due 24th jan]
:bulletyellow: Page 3 :star: [due 31st jan]
:bulletyellow: Page 4 :star: [due 07th feb]
:bulletyellow: Page 5 :star: [due 21st feb]
:bulletyellow: Page 6 :star: [due 06th mar]
:bulletyellow: Page 7 :star: [due 13th mar]
:bulletyellow: Page 8 :star:
:bulletyellow: Page 9 :star:
:bulletyellow: Page 10 :star:
:bulletyellow: Page 11 :star:
:bulletyellow: Page 12 :star-empty:
:bulletyellow: Page 13 :star-empty:

The Academy:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 01 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 02 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 03 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 04 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 05 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 06 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 07 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 08 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 09 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 10 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 11 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 12 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 13 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 14 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 15 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 16 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 17 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 18 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 19 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 20 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 21 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 22 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 23 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 24 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 25 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 26 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 27 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 28 :star:
:bulletyellow: Chapter 29 :star-empty:

The Unseen Series
:bulletyellow: The Heart :star-half:
:bulletyellow: The Strength :star-empty:
:bulletyellow: The Control :star-empty:

My Stamps!

What makes my world go round!

Drarry stamp by Reminiscexx Bon jovi-Stamp by Da-Wabbit Archive of Our Own Stamp by Cheeezey DA Stamp - Male Pairings 01 by tppgraphics Star Trek-Spock Losing Faith by schematization Star Trek Stamp by AndrewJHarmon Yaoi Stamp by Clockwerk-chan Yaoi Happiness by GimmeYaoi HARRYPOTTER FANFIC STAMP by MeltingWaterMelons Writer by Shadowed-Midnight Daniel Radcliffe fan by phoenixtsukino Stony stamp by Tsuki-Nekota I support Richard Dawkins by PaleoClipperArt Atheist Stamp by TranscendenceEngine Stamp - Dog Lover by MauserGirl Pairings Stamp by fluffy-the-wolf my OCs are alive by propertyofkat Sam saved the day by BaB-Jane Stamp - Bon Jovi by AmyRose-Chan I love Yorkshire Terriers by WishmasterAlchemist Fanfic Luff Stamp 8D by Miyazaki-A2 Erik- Charles Stamp by emmyxogats Michael Fassbender stamp by Francyssa Iron Man Stamp - proof that Tony Stark has a Heart by The-GreenGoblin Stamp I take writing seriously by DieNaerrin webcomics stamp by akrasiel Original Characters Stamp by nitchzombie McFassy Stamp by iondra Books over all by PixieRiot Star Trek-Redshirt Volunteer by schematization Original Character Addict by lycanthropeful MARVEL Steve and Tony Stamp by TwilightProwler MARVEL Avengers Group Circle Stamp by TwilightProwler Stamp: Characters are children by Jammerlee Kirk and Spock stamp by ForeverSonu STAMP Star Trek TOS by ForeverSonu mpreg. by PhotographedTuesday Stamp: Request - FrodoxSam by 8manderz8 Writing by wyldflower OCs Stamp by BowChickaBowWow "Bones" McCoy -stamp by Clopina Kirk and Spock 1 by Kellatrix YOU STEAL, I REPORT stamp by en-ni Opinions Stamp by bladebandit I Ctrl + Z Traditional Art by SpiffyDisco Bon Jovi Stamp by Oribeqiraj Erik- Charles Stamp 2 by emmyxogats Stamp - Character Cruelty Zone by Fullmetal-Phantom Bishounen stamp. by obakestamps Stamp - I Love Girly Boys by onnawufei I'minyourfandom... by SweetTeaholic Bishie Stamp by MissPinks Deviant Stamp: Charles Xavier by beekay84 Writer v2 Stamp by barefootphotos characters stamp by KrisiChiki Star Trek Movie Era Stamp by cuddlesaurus21 origanal art stamp by thundraforest Fanfiction.net stamp by Metallikato A Writer Writes... Stamp by Mirz123 George Carlin stamp by birdewilliams I'm Sorry Stamp by neopuff No Respect by MegSyv I Love All My Babies - Stamp by SerenaVerdeArt Iron Man Stamp - Tony + sunglasses by The-GreenGoblin OTP Sense stamp by Fairy-Red-Hime Deviant Stamp: Erik Lehnsherr by beekay84 SiriRem stamp by Roys-neko Harry Potter Obsessed by Raven-LaLupa More Harry Potter Stamp by MissingHorcrux Slash writer STAMP by lonewined Anti Harry and Ginny by nikil-san Draco x Harry Stamp by Iwonn Stamp Harry Potter - Ravenclaw by Momma--G Marauders Stamp by Maleh-wa PWP _plot what plot?_ stamp by coraza-de-acero Solemnly - Marauders Stamp by Nesspire Canon Fail Stamp by DarthRegina125 Bloor's - Art by Scarecrow--Stamps I REFUSE Stamp by RoxyOblivion I Talk to Myself Stamp by Latias-Flyer Once had a mary sue by shadow-otm Fassy stamp by LotteQ Love by Ishdakitty I Love Minimalism by l8 White Shepherd Puppy Stamp by cloudrat :Gay Rights: by Minty-Hippo Support GAY marriage by emmil Gay by Super-Cheesepuff TOS Spock Love by NoxNoctisUmbra Why Gay Marriage is "Wrong" by kuchinawa STARFIGHTER STAMP by airisall Tolerate Stamp by AnnaethGreenleaf Kirk and Spock 2 by Kellatrix Happiness by MaruLovesStamps Stampage - Graphic - Report by BlacFyre-Stampage I support web comics by Annetteks Stamp - Porn and rules by foxlee fanficWHORE by AlyNeko starstampfighter by not-so-glorious I love my dog stamp by Feralhound07 Cain Stamp by KingdomHeartsBBY Geek Pride by holls FUCK DIGITAL ART xD by Kosiuko-san Likes by KiagouTomb Tradi AND Digi Art Love stamp by izka197 Fan Service Stamp by LightShappy love to read by ourstars

Watchers

Stop Chasing the Ghost of Success

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 8, 2015, 4:31 PM


 

There's one thing you can always be: better.

And that's where your career problems start.

 

I'm going to tell you a story, and this story will be about you. But in this story, you're going to be an actor, and your dream job will be to star in Hollywood Blockbusters. Ok? Ok.

So here you are, some random John Doe no one's ever heard of, and you're struggling really hard, going to acting classes all the time, attending 100 auditions and hearing back from zero of them.

You spend all your hard earned money from waiting tables on the debt of student loans while also paying for extra acting classes, wondering all the while if you're only shooting yourself in the foot. Maybe you should get a real job.

And then one day, suddenly, you get a call back from an audition. You got the job! You actually got the job! Sure, it's a suspiciously under-funded indie short film with questionable writing and even more questionable work hours. But it's a real, proper, paying acting job.

You give it your all, the film sees the light of day and some people pat you on the back, nice work!

A couple of months later, you get a part in a play. It's in a small, dingy theater and you don't have that many lines, but you do your best. And then comes that musical- you can't even sing- that you agree to embarrass yourself in. Then there's another play; a quick gig for another short indie film; a couple voice parts here and there and then-

And then.

Some guy calls you up, he's seen one of your performances and he'd like you to try out for a real, decently funded, play in a theater people actually go to. He's an agent.

Holy cheeseballs.

It seems to snowball from then on: one thing leads to another. You're doing this play, next thing you know you've already got something signed on for next week, some indie crew calls in but you turn them down because you are booked solid (how cool is that!! You had never said 'no' before!!).

Few months into this roller coaster ride and you get to do a commercial- you're going to be on TV! TV! That thing that people actually watch! Wow! Go you! Your mom tapes it and everything- her kid is a star!

Your agent hooks you up with another play, and this one will be directed by that guy who was in that soap opera what's-it-called! How awesome is that! But as you're sitting in the backstage, the main actor shows up and you find out that Jack McPants over there has already been in two Broadway productions. What?! The kid is, like, 12!! (He's 19).

And when you stop to think about it, there are people like that Harry Potter guy. I mean, by the time he was, what, 17 he had already made 8 huge blockbusters and enough money that he could probably buy himself a small country. And what about that 9 year old girl who got nominated for the Oscar last week?

And here you are, 27 years old and you were happy because you got 10 seconds on TV talking about toothpaste while dressed as a toothpaste. What a loser.

You go home that night feeling like shit.

Next few months aren't that fun. You have steady jobs, but what's even the point? You're never going to amount to anything. Maybe you should accept that you'll always be a mediocre, rundown theater, indie film, commercial-making guy.

You did not see it coming.

Remember that one film you did that came out a couple months back? Yeah, the one that had a really well rounded script and characters? Well, sit down my friend, because it was shown all over film festivals in Europe and you are now up for your first award.

YOUR FIRST AWARD.

Take that, Jack McPants!

At the ceremony, you're sweating like a piglet inside your smoking – you barely owned a suit to begin with. You feel like this is more than you could ever imagine. Look at all this stuff! These women in gowns and all these fancy catered food and- you've made it. You've made it big. You've finally made it big!!

Well… not really.

You did win the award. But, come on, it was just a stupid second class random award that had started, what, five years ago? Pfff get over yourself!! "Big star" yeah right!

You soon learn that most people will agree with that. "You won… what?" they will ask, half confused half disinterested. And when you find yourself, for the fifth time, having to explain what award you won, you decide to never bring it up again. It sits on your shelf, collecting dust, and the bit of pride you had by looking at it is gone now.

Second class award or not, this baby open doors for you! And next thing you know, your career starts snowballing into better and better and better and better gigs.

It comes to a point that your agent can't say 'no' to new projects fast enough. He's proverbially fighting indie directors off with a stick, while more and more "proper" casting directors come knocking on your door (or, you know, you knock on their door and they open).

It starts with secondary roles, but still! They're in movies that will actually appear on normal cinemas (!!!). And then it turns into more and more prominent roles until one day your agent gives you the news: finally, oh finally, you get cast as a main character.

Oh dear god. You're a main character in a Hollywood movie.

You did it!! You freaking did it!! No more catches, no more Ifs and Buts, no nothing! You've made it to the big screens, Hollywood is yours, baby!! Your freaking face is on a 6 feet tall poster for Pete's sake!

Your rise to stardom is exponential. People recognize you on the streets! They ask you for your autograph! They take photos with you! THIS IS AMAZING! THIS IS EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED!

Is that- is that Jack McPants' name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Oh my god, that is Jack McPants' name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Are you freaking kidding me? Why does he get a star and you don't?! This is ridiculous. There must be some mistake-

Or… or maybe you're just not good enough, yet. Yeah, I mean, you can get better, right? Maybe in a couple of movies you'll have your name there- sure. Of course. That makes total sense.

It takes you ten years.

But damn, does it feel good to finally lie on that red carpet posing for the camera, feeling like a million bucks (which, by the way, you now have in your bank account, to spare), knowing your name will be on that star forever: you will be remembered as one of the great.

Feels damn good.

At this point in your life, you have it all. That lonely award on the shelf back from your starving actor days has now been joined by many, many other proper awards. In fact, you're not even sure where that first award's gone off to. Sure you haven't actually won an Oscar yet, but, I mean, it's not like you need one, right?

A lot of other actors haven't won Oscars, that doesn't mean anything. You don't need an Oscar to validate your ability as an actor. Look at how many fans you have! How many movies you've made! Come on, you have your own goddamned franchise!

But still, if the critics actually thought you were good-

Your first nomination almost gives you a heart attack (hey, you're pushing fifty now, it could happen!). The media's buzzing all over you and building an expectation that you just can't help but buy into.

You don't win.

In fact, you're nominated twice more and you win neither of those times.

You try not to let it get to you, but it's damn hard. And after that third nomination, when you go home empty handed once again, you feel the same way you did when you met fresh-faced young Broadway star Jack Freaking McPants.

It does not help that that stupid kid won a Tony a couple years back- hope he chokes on it.

You're exactly fifty four years old when it happens- you're sitting on your chair, practicing your graceful loser face (you've got it down to an art form now), there's a camera showing your expectant face on the big screen together with the other nominee's.

This time, it's your name they call.

You almost choke on your own breath, you almost trip over your feet as people help you to the stage. Goddammit if this doesn't feel exactly like that moment you won your Second-Class-Irrelevant-Award back in 1990-when-was-it.

You stumble your way through your acceptance speech (hadn't you had this thing memorized?!) and it's all a blur, really. You're guided back to your seat afterwards, your wife is hugging you as excitedly as she was before. Everyone is beaming at you and you're beaming yourself.

This is it, you think. I'm done. I did it. No one in the world can deny that you've made it.

And then Meryl Streep walks by your table to congratulate you- you've worked with her before. She's smiling at you after giving you a genuine hug. When she walks away, you watch her go, unable to look elsewhere.

"Honey, how many Oscars did Meryl win, again?" you ask your wife.

"Three."

Oh goddammit.

--

There will always be someone younger.

There will always be someone better.

There will always be competition, expectation, disappointment, insecurity and what ifs.

There is no "top", there is no end game, no finishing line; chasing success is the same as chasing the horizon. You just keep running and you never get anywhere.

The only thing that changes is the tier you're in, the players you're up against, because the game remains the same.

You will never get to a place where you'll not want more, where you'll not be insecure that you're not good enough. When you're no longer insecure about what worries you now (getting a call back from an audition), you'll be insecure about things you aren't even aware of yet (why haven't you won a damn Oscar??).

Instead of chasing success and letting yourself become consumed by anxiety and the feeling of inadequacy: Enjoy the tier you're in right now.

That guy who was dying to get just one simple call back for a job would be damn proud and excited to be in that toothpaste costume in a TV commercial. Enjoy it like he would. Celebrate like he would. Be proud of yourself like he would.

Do not let your accomplishments go unnoticed. Do not let your life become "just another day at the office", it's a damn fine office and you worked damn hard to be in it!!

Wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself how awesome you are! Look at all the stuff you've done! Look at how far you've come!

Don't get distracted by the Jack McPants in your life, let them do their thing; you do you. They may be in a different tier, but they are playing the same game. Don't you ever forget that.

Keep improving yourself and keep moving forward without thinking about getting to any one place at any one speed.

And In the end, no matter how far you manage to go, no matter what tier you end up in, if you let go of chasing success, you'll have enjoyed and celebrated every single step in your journey.

To me, well, that sounds like a much better bet.

--


Cross posted from my tumblr: alicebessoni.tumblr.com/



  • Mood: dA Love
  • Listening to: Legit everything
  • Reading: TA, to edit it hah
  • Watching: How I met your mother (yes, I gave in)
  • Drinking: Coffee

deviantID

Aaraujo
Alice
Artist | Professional | Digital Art
:bulletred: I'm 25
:bulletred: I graduated from The Art Department and majored Entertainment 2D
:bulletred: I love slash, reading and writing
:bulletred: I currently work as a full-time freelance artist.


:bulletred:Random Facts:bulletred:
-I love reading original slash fiction, or slash fanfiction.
-Pairings you'll finding me reading are Kirk/Spock, Sherlock/John, Charles/Erik, Steve/Tony, Draco/Harry, Remus/Sirius, Teddy/Billy(YA), Nasir/Agron, Legolas/Aragorn, and Sam/Frodo.
-I spend most of my free time (like 80%) reading (So I'm either on fictionpress, fanfictionnet, AO3, live journal, etc)
-I actually spend most of my time reading, period. As I use an app to read for me while I paint! :D
-I'm a writer before anything else :)
-I absolutely love stand up comedy, my favorite comedian is Louis CK
-I really admire militant atheists like George Carlin, Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris & other awesome folks.
-Bon Jovi, Bon Jovi, Bon Jovi, Bon Jovi, Bowling for Soup, Bon Jovi, Bowling for Soup, Linkin Park, Eminem, Classic, Bon Jovi, Miyavi, Bon Jovi, Lily Allen, Bon Jovi, Bowling for Soup, Bon Jovi, Coldplay and Bon Jovi.
-I've got a bunch of tattoos sprinkled all over the place. Maybe half of them are tributes to my own characters.

:bulletgreen: Commission Status: Open
:bulletred: Trade Status: Closed
:bulletred: Request Status: Closed
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:iconrainbowcat22:
Rainbowcat22 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
how much are your commissions dears Heart Heart 
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:icongreensam:
greensam Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday!
Reply
:iconaaraujo:
Aaraujo Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:iconroksiel:
Roksiel Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015
Though I don't get much on dA because my slow Internet speed (I'm way behind on checking messages and new art from the people I watch), I still wanted to say happy birthday! May you have a great one today! :)
Reply
:iconaaraujo:
Aaraujo Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much :3
Reply
:iconouraknysot:
OurakNysot Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015   Digital Artist
Happy Birthday my dear and have a slice cake!! :cake:
This one might taste a bit dry but all I could find haha.
Hmm I should have give you an apple instead! ;)
Reply
:iconaaraujo:
Aaraujo Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Hahahaha thank you :D
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